Vagabond Life Lesson #2 — Connection

Vagabond Life Lesson #2 — Connection

Pictured above: My son Jonas and longtime friend Greg after visiting the Musical Instrument Museum in Scottsdale, AZ

It’s been almost a year since finishing my six-month Vagabond Adventure throughout the U.S. and Canada. I’ve had time to reflect on this incredible experience which surfaced 10 life lessons along the way that have stuck with me. Previously, I wrote about my experience with Generosity and its impact on me.

What amazed me during my Vagabond Adventure was the number of friends, family, mentors, colleagues, and acquaintances I visited while we were still in the midst of the Covid pandemic — roughly 50+ along the way. Although I had been vaccinated and wore a mask, I was traveling around quite a bit which put me at higher risk for potentially catching and transmitting the virus. However, that didn’t seem to be a barrier among those I was visiting. They still wanted to connect. I realized how much people truly crave Connection and community. This was immensely gratifying and reassuring given the divisiveness of the past few years.

One of the most significant and meaningful aspects of my travels for me was visiting with cousins around the country (about nine of them), some of whom I hadn’t seen in 25–35 years. Of the many treasured moments, one that stood out was while I was in Portland, Oregon. I had the opportunity to visit with two cousins, Dean and Zara, and their respective families. Incredible as it may seem, they had never met even though they only lived about five blocks from each other! We all had dinner together one night at a local restaurant just a few minutes walk from each of their homes. It was absolutely magical and electric! And a load of fun!

Dinner in Portland with my cousins Zara and Dean (next to me) and their spouses

I also connected with other cousins near Coeur d’Alene, Idaho; Rochester and Beacon, NY; Salt Lake City, Utah; Pensacola, Florida; and Mesa, Arizona. Our conversations were so rich and enlightening as their stories, based on their own experiences growing up, provided new perspectives regarding my grandparents, parents, and aunts and uncles that intertwined with my own understanding of them.

Mountain bike riding around the drought-stricken Great Salt Lake with my cousin Shelly in Salt Lake City, Utah

A second highlight of my trip was spending a week of quality time with my son, Jonas, whom I had flown out from California to meet me in Arizona during his winter break from college. I had been visiting my cousin Shelly in Utah and drove down to Phoenix to pick him up there.

Coincidentally, one of my longtime friends, Greg, happened to be out from San Diego visiting his parents nearby so we were able to hang out for awhile. My son and I subsequently drove out to New Mexico and hiked White Sands National Park and explored Carlsbad Caverns which were both astonishing gems of mother nature.

There were so many wonderful moments along the way including visits with other longtime friends and newer ones, that I think I’m going to write a separate column to thank each and every one of them for the gifts they gave me.

How my Connections influence me today

It seems that much of what goes sideways in this world is related to people’s inattention, isolation and/or inability to genuinely connect with others. Once I wrapped up my travels, I realized how easy it is to fall back into old patterns with the demands of everyday life. It’s not uncommon in this day and age to not know our neighbors.

This underscores the need to be intentional if we truly value relationships. I recognized how important it is to put myself in the position to be connected, create invitations for others to connect with me, and be more receptive to invitations I receive rather than let them hang unanswered or brush them off.

One of the significant shifts I’ve made in the past year is making it a priority to proactively build community around me. No longer do I wish to tolerate what had become the status quo before my Vagabond Adventure.

As such, I’ve attempted to keep my connections alive by reaching out to those whom I visited with during my journey. I’ve called and texted my cousins periodically and am planning to coordinate a reunion that we can all attend. I’m also planning mini-vagaventures this year and heading back to revisit some people as well as explore new places.

Meanwhile, there are nine units in my apartment complex in Oceanside, California where I’ve settled. I’ve introduced myself to each neighbor and organized events including a happy hour and potluck BBQ in our courtyard. I also recently hosted a games night in my home and it was magical — filled with lots of laughter. I felt so high (naturally) afterwards from getting to know everyone on a more personal level. And now we have a much stronger bond with each other!

How about you? How do you cultivate connections in your daily life?

Final note: As if the Universe is trying to tell me something, one of my cousins, Patty, passed away a few weeks ago. Plus a colleague and friend I had met with just before my trip, Carolyn, died unexpectedly a few months ago. It was a stark reminder for me to stay vigilant in being proactive and intentional rather than allow myself to drift and become complacent.

Selfie fun with my cousin Patty (and her cat) in Pensacola, Florida



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