I came back from a workout in the hotel fitness center in Asheville, North Carolina and discovered an unwelcome guest. As I was getting ready to take a shower, I looked in the mirror and noticed a red splotch on my left shoulder. It appeared to be dried blood and I reached over to scrape it off. Much to my surprise, it was actually a live tick that had burrowed into my shoulder!

I’m not sure where I picked it up (probably while hiking in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park), but fortunately the bloody thing released it’s bite as I yanked the thing out. The little bugger then began crawling around on my bathroom counter. Lucky for him (and me!), he didn’t lose his head inside my shoulder. Meanwhile, I had a bus to Atlanta to catch in a couple hours and was worried about contracting Lyme disease from the bite.

Fortunately, I was able to walk to a nearby urgent care center where they were able to take a closer look and ease some of my concerns. I was given some instructions for keeping watch for Lyme disease symptoms and told to circle back in a couple weeks for a blood test if needed. I continued on with my trip and made my way south along the Florida coast to visit a friend in West Palm Beach.

Unfortunately, it had become clear during our conversation that Diane didn’t have interest in moving back to California. In my heart of hearts, I couldn’t see myself living in the Northeast again after having spent a couple years in Massachusetts during graduate school.

In both situations among others, I learned to accept the realities and move on versus my usual history of dwelling in the worlds of “worry” and “what if.”

Like flowing water in a crooked mountain stream that pauses and pools at certain points along the way; eventually it flows on. Similarly, I realized that dwelling upon disappointments or setbacks didn’t serve me well. What’s the point? I still had people to see and places to go so becoming stuck stewing in a “woe is me” world wouldn’t get me anywhere.

How Moving On shapes my world today

Since I wrapped up my travels and moved to Oceanside, California, I’ve noticed that I am much better at moving forward quickly when confronted with disappointments and setbacks.

Last Fall, two days after an annual physical where I had a clean bill of health, I experienced severe pain in my right thigh. I could hardly stand up without being in excruciating pain. Over the next week or so, it eventually migrated to my other leg and below the knee. I went back to the doctor to evaluate me and he ordered up some blood tests. Everything came back normal. However, the pain persisted. As weeks passed, I started having episodes of blurred vision that would last about three to five minutes before returning to normal. It was very strange.

After some additional tests, it became clear that I had high inflammation in my body. They prescribed a medication that has significantly helped reduce the inflammation and the pain mostly subsided. However, my primary doctor as well as several specialists were still unable to diagnose the source of my symptoms. They suspected an auto-immune disease of some sort and that I could potentially permanently lose my vision. The day I heard this, I could hardly keep it together. I wept for days thinking the course of my life would be changed forever.

While I still don’t have a clear answer seven months later, I haven’t let it consume my life. In fact, I signed up and ran a local 5k race with my son during Spring Break. I refuse to dwell on the nerve-wracking aspect of my situation and am exploring additional avenues for answers.

Meanwhile, aside from that date with Diane, I have not dated much in several years due to Covid and other life challenges. However, I have started dating again and am continually reminded of the challenges that brings. There have been a few times when I was really into someone I met, only to be told that their feelings weren’t mutual. Likewise, there have been other times when I didn’t feel any chemistry after meeting in person despite having felt a connection over the phone.

While in the past I would sulk and beat myself up, my newfound conviction of quickly accepting the current reality and my new motto of “Next!” has provided me with greater strength and fortitude. I’ve grown so much and am proud of myself. Deep down, I know I’m much more likely to be successful in my quest for a lifelong partner if I just keep moving forward!

How about you? How would a mindset of “moving on” help you handle unexpected or disappointing events?

In the year since finishing my six-month Vagabond Adventure throughout the U.S. and Canada, I’ve had time to reflect on this incredible experience from which I gleaned 10 life lessons. Previously, I wrote about my experiences with Generosity , Connection, Flexibility, Security, Showing Up and their impacts on me.